The Okie College Girl

I decided to be brave and hit up the candy asile at Wally World the other day.  This isn’t a normal occurance for me, as I’m not a big chocolate fan.  As I was glancing at all the packages on the shelves I ran across something I hadn’t seen in years, at least 19.  I had no idea they still made Rolo’s.  It actually made me a bit sad to see them, but I also wondered if they still tasted as what I remembered as a little girl.  If of course had to have them, just because they hold some special memories for me.  Verdict…they still taste the same!!

Now, why do I remember this as one of my favorite childhood candies?  I remember this being the only candy my Nanny had in her purse when I was growing up.  She always used to give us one or two, I honestly can’t believe I still remember it.  I’m not sure Roomie does, but I do.  She passed away when I was 7 from Kidney Cancer, so I’ve got a tremendous memory.  There’s just something about going on a car ride and having these things to suffice you while you’re out and about car riding.  There are so many things I remember about her, like her lipstick, the Extra Bubble Gum you could also find in her purse and plucking her whiskers.  Oh yes, I was a Nanny’s Girl.  I loved going to see her and Paps in the summer.  I loved everything about summer with them.  Like Disney Popsicles (the Grand Kids were definitely spoiled), being tied to a clothes line (I have the pictures to prove it!! -haha), playing in the freezing cold well water, playing with my rabbits – I named one Brown Bear – don’t laugh… I was a kid; I didn’t know any better and loving on my sweet pet chicken – Henny Penny.  Plus, I always got to help make breakfast in the morning and call the time and temp number to see how hot or cold it would be for the day.  I still remember that number.  Cooking breakfast was their ritual with the grand kids.  Although, being a kid; you don’t get to fry bacon, eggs or mess with the hot skillet…but, you do get to mix homemade biscuits.

These days the breakfast ritual still continues.  Except these days I tend to sleep through it or I let the great-grand kids help.  It was always a special treat for me and I enjoy watching them do it.

So here’s to the Rolo’s.  They’re sitting beside me while I type this post.  I’m glad after 19 years I still remember them and remember their significance to me.  They definitely have their sad and happy qualities and taste oh so good going down!

Monday afternoon, after my Calculus class, I headed to pick up Baby Bro.  He had school on Monday and we all decided it was best for him to go to school and then I drive over and pick him up, so that’s what I did.  We left my parents house around 5pm and made it to Grandma & Grandpa’s (it will always be known as Grandma & Grandpa’s for sa long as I shall live) just to say hi and give her a BIG hug.  It was definitely eerie being in the house without Grandpa.  It didn’t feel right and I’m sure it will never will.

The funeral was Tuesday at 2pm.  I told myself to hold it together and that Gramps was resting now and isn’t hurting.  Once I went behind the curtain and saw him I lost it.  I wish I would’ve had more time to spend with him before the funeral, but no one wanted to do that, so I held my tongue.  The service was beautiful, there was a DVD show depicting his life through the years.  There were photos I had never seen before, some of them were pretty funny and I couldn’t help but laugh.  Pops & his brothers had written down funny stories earlier in the week and those were recited.  The family had a huge chuckle over what Pops had written.  I’ve heard the story hundreds of times and still laugh each time I hear the story.  There were a lot of people who attended the funeral, there were a lot of guys from the refinery,  their friends and our relatives.  It was definitely a big turnout.

The comical story of he funeral goes like this,  Pops was only about 3 or 4 at the time and my Uncle is a year behind him, so he was either 2 or 3.  Grandma had her hands full for both Pops and his younger brother, can’t imagine what those two got into growing up.  Pops decided he wanted to watch TV one day and his house was the only one on the block not to have TV.  He takes it upon himself to install a TV for the family, so he climbs the lattice at the side of the house with a metal pole he had found.  Does this sound like a good idea to anyone yet?  Back to the story, Pop is on the house and Grandma hears someone walking around on the roof, so she takes my Uncle (as a wee toddler) outside to see what is going on.  What does she find?  My Pops is walking around on the roof making his plan of attack on how he is going to bring TV into their house.  Grandma decides she simply can’t get on the roof to get him down, especially with the wee toddler; who knows what he would’ve gotten into.  She calls Gramps to come to rescue Pops off the house.  Gramps gets off work and comes home to get Pops off the roof.  I’m sure there were lectures involved, but I’m told they got a TV either that evening or the next.  Man oh Man, I can’t wait to have a Son.  With my lineage I’ll be in for it.

I’m glad there  were funny stories told at the funeral, I think I was the only one laughing at some of the photos and the stories that were told.  Mom even made the comment as she was sitting next to me that it looked as if my boobs were about to pop out of my dress.  I just made the statement that I’m sure Gramps would laugh, then mom piped up that he might just be embarrassed and maybe my boobs popping out wouldn’t be such a grand idea.  Not to worry, they stayed safely tucked inside my dress.

We buried Gramps in the same cemetery that my Great-Grandparents on my Grandma’s side is in.  A family friend who helped with the funeral made a speech that my Gramps made an impression on everyone and that if we’d like to do the same we could.  So I left my hand print on his casket, it felt the same as Cassie’s; metal and hollow.  The same.  We all met at the Elks afterwards and had a late lunch following the funeral.  I was able to talk to more relatives and friends of the family during this time.  I heard lots of stories about my Gramps and all the stories they told about me growing up.  I was definitely doted on by them.

One of those family friends was a family that lived across from my Grandparents on the back side of them.  As a child, I would sneak through my grandparents gate in the back and over to their backyard.  I did this several times every summer, so often in fact that we still remember each other even after all these years.  I was thrilled I got to see them and chat with them a little after the funeral.  I do hope we can keep in touch, after all that’s what Facebook is for!

The funeral procession.  You know I’ve been going to my Grandparents for years, but have never been this way before.  I can’t explain how it felt to be in this procession, doing one of the hardest things I had ever done in my life.  I can’t explain it, just can’t.  It didn’t feel real.  It didn’t feel like I was having to bury my Grandpa.

This is a portion of the refinery where Gramps worked.  It spans on both sides of the road.  He worked at the Texaco refinery for a whopping 39 years, including the Graveyard shift.  It’s hard to even fathom how hard he must’ve worked to provide for his family.  It makes me all misty eyed just thinking about it.

Another view of the refinery.  I can’t imagine working at one place for 39 years, but I know someone who did.

There just aren’t any words to put with this photo.  I’m speechless.  Never in my 25 years have I ever been in a funeral procession.  My Gramps was a great man, I’m glad these people did the right thing and pulled over.  Although it made things that much sadder.

Tough stuff.  Of all the guys carrying Gramps, Baby Bro helped too.  It broke my heart watching that.  I realize everyone is going to die at some point, but I can’t imagine being 19 and  losing a grandparent.  Especially a grandparent you had just seen 3 days prior who showed no signs from his standpoint of things spiraling downward as fast as they did.

Gramps is finally at rest.  That’s what I have to keep telling myself.  He spent over a month in the hospital getting better, or so I thought.  My cousins carried him to his final resting place in the cemetery, I’m thankful I have them.  I’m thankful they came to pay their respects to my Gramps and I’m thankful they can give tremendous hugs when needed.

Gathering around to say our last goodbyes for awhile.  I kept peering into where they were going to lower him and discovered there was concrete on all sides and the bottom.  I never knew this before I looked.  It did upset me just a little bit, but I kept my emotions in check.  I had to for Grams.

Goodbye Gramps.  I’m going to miss you so much.  I’m very grateful to have been your granddaughter and for letting me drive that one time after I failed my driver’s permit test.  Never thought I could drive 55mph let alone 65, but I’m doing it now.  I left both hand prints on his casket on the left hand corner.

On our way out of town.  I didn’t think Gramps being all the way down there would have such an affect on me, but it does.  It actually makes me a bit claustrophobic.

My Gramps.  Going to really really miss him.  Him being gone is going to be rough on all of us.

My Great Grandparent’s headstone in Kansas.  Their plot isn’t too far from my Grandparents, which is why I was able to take photos on our way out of town after saying our final goodbyes to Gramps.

My Great-Grandpa.  He was a very tall man.  I was born when he was still alive so I was able to “meet” him.  Actually maybe I should say I have photos with him from my tiny tyke days.

This is where my Great-Grandmother is buried.  Supposedly this is where I get my “height” from.  Grams has mentioned on more than one occasion that she was actually taller than I am by a few inches, even Grams is a few inches taller than I am.  Roomie & I didn’t know it at the time, but Ellie the Wonder Hound actually has my GG’s middle name.

I can not put into words how much I miss my Grandpa.  The only thing that comes is a face full of tears, which proceed to run down my face and onto my chest.  These past few days have been a complete nightmare.  I’m glad I’m on Spring Break, because I’m not sure what I’d be like if I were having to go to school.

This is hard, very, very hard.  You might also chalk that up to regret.  Regret that I got sick and couldn’t go see my Grandpa earlier this week.  I know there wasn’t anything I could do, I was running a fever and had a terrible cough.  I had even been to the doctor.  I know there isn’t anything I could do, but I’m going to regret being sick and not getting to see him for as long as I live.  Roomie & Baby Bro were able to go earlier this week.  They went up and saw him, even took him a Subway sandwich and Chips, all while I stayed at home.

His death was completely unexpected.  No one saw it coming.  He had just been transferred to another “step-down” hospital to finish up antibiotics for an infection.  To my knowledge the call came in around 4am that he had taken a turn for the worse and by 6am he was gone.  Talk about shock.

I’ve dealt with death before, losing a grandparent when I was 7 and friends over the years, but crap this is hard.  The funeral is at 2pm on Tuesday and I’ll be there in my new fancy polka dotted dress and red high heels.  I’ve never been traditional and there’s no reason to start now.  Gramps knew this, everyone knows this, I am the wild child.  So on Tuesday, I’ll do my best to keep my emotions in tact and hope and pray for the best out of this sad situation.

I was the baby in the photo here, taken May of 1985.  For all you readers out there:: (L – R {back row} :: Pops, Uncle D, Gramps, Uncle JR, Justin & (my Great) Grandpa Clyde; L-R {front row} :: John Paul, Brandon, Grandma, Me & Jason)

I was a bossy child, wasn’t I?  No one ever saw that coming, did they?  Usually I got to do just about whatever I wanted, especially when with the dear ole’ grandparents.

I went to the zoo on several occasions.  This time, May of 1987.  I believe this was a trip to the Wichita Zoo when I was a kiddo.  I’m not sure, I’ve been to several zoos in my lifetime and I couldn’t tell you for sure which zoo this one is.

Around Christmas time.  Roomie was probably 2 or maybe even 16 months.  There’s just no telling.  A lot has changed in Mom & Dad’s house, heck a lot has changed in the world of Baby Land, for instance that blue high chair behind all of us probably isn’t even in production anymore.  Wild, huh?

Santa came to visit my Aunt & Uncle when I was 6 or 7.  This was a shock to a young kiddo, to have Santa come for a visit on Christmas Day, let’s just say my Uncle’s house scored big that year!

Gramps with his brothers in 89.  I don’t know what my Great-Grandparents did with all 5 boys.  Can’t even imagine.  Honestly, I can’t imagine all 11 of them in the house they grew up in.  What this photo doesn’t show is their height.  They look like fairly short men, right?  Wrong.  Gramps was over 6ft, which is height that definitely wasn’t given to me.

Time flies.  Enjoy it while you can.